My dearest sister,
There’s something very special about watching you become a mum. I feel privileged to be physically next to you during these first couple of weeks! At the same time, I wish I could spare you from the pain, the sleepless nights and the uncertainty that comes with motherhood. I know full well that I can’t take all of that away. I also know that this is something you will survive through. I know it doesn’t feel that way at the moment but you will.
I know you feel overwhelmed. It’s all very frightening at the moment. I’m writing this down so that during your journey through motherhood, if you ever feel lost or uncertain, you will remember this:
You are doing the best you can. That is all your baby needs. Everything else, well…you just need to roll with it.
There are so many fears when you first become a mum. You fear spoiling your baby from carrying her for too long. You fear she’s not thriving as she should. You fear you’re doing something wrong. You fear she’ll never sleep through the night. You fear you’re totally shit at this and you feel like you don’t have a clue what you’re doing.
These fears are unfounded but the very last one doesn’t exactly go away. 4.5 years on, I still have no clue what I’m doing. But you know what, it’s OK. It’s OK to not have the answers to everything. And don’t get me started on the Guilt. The Motherhood journey is packed with The Guilt. The’ should haves’, ‘could haves’ and ‘what ifs’. Focus instead on what you can do or change, and not what you can’t.
I see an incredible mum who’s going to do whatever it takes for her baby to thrive. I want you to know that if you need to tell someone that you don’t have your shit together and not be judged – I’m always here for you.
You are strong, you are capable and yes, this will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but you’ve got this. You’ve got common sense and strength from our father, a loving and supportive husband, relatives and friends who are rooting for you, and your personal cheerleader – me.
I love you and together, we’ll keep an open mind and muddle through motherhood. Just as we’ve always muddled through life! Hang on tight, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Lots of love from your sister,
p.s. If someone tells you she’s got motherhood all figured out, she’s a big fat liar.